Read Gibran to Celebrate the Catholic View of Marriage

One of my favorite bloggers, Jennifer Fulwiler, has been critical of the reading from the poem, “The Prophet” by the Christian Poet, Kahlil Gibran, at weddings. The title of her August 15 column in National Catholic Register is entitled “Please Don't Read This Poem at Your Wedding.” I disagree.

The summary of her view of the poem is:

“Though it was published in 1923, it's an eloquent articulation of our modern culture's new understanding of marriage. In this view, the individual is more important than the family unit. Marriage is seen as a path to self-fulfillment for each spouse, where protecting yourself trumps self sacrificial love, and personal autonomy trumps all.”

My view of the poem is almost opposite of hers. My wife and I (married 50 years+) raised our children during the 60s, 70s and 80s and as a father was always proactive in finding ways to counter the distorted and dysfunctional understanding of love, marriage and family growing in our culture. I recognized in “The Prophet” a counter cultural celebration of the Catholic view of marriage and family. When I read and studied John Paul II “Theology of The Body” I thought often of this poem.

When it came time for the Fathers' contribution to the reception speeches, I read from this poem at all my childrens' wedding receptions.

From the verses on Marriage:

“You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
and let the winds of the heavens dance between you.”

My commentary: The idea that God is not not a part of marriage has always been around but in the 60s and 70s this godless idea of marriage captured a large portion of our culture. It is one factor in moving our culture's view of marriage to the sorry and confused state we find it today. Gibran sees it differently.

“And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow”

 My commentary: Why do the temple pillars stand apart? Obviously so that God may enter. The same with marriage; leave space in your marriage so that God may enter.

“Love one another, but make not a bond of love:”

My commentary: I encounter many young people whose concept of love (and marriage) is that one is possessed by the other, that you disappeared in the relationship. It feeds the related idea that men and women are equal in all things and that sexual differentiation is not important. Also secular humor pictures marriage as 'giving up freedom' (bondage) whereas the Christian view is that love sets us free and that freedom is a necessary element of self giving love.

From the section on Children:

“They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you they belong not to you.”

My commentary: Our modern secular culture preaches a sort of dualism that would describe the body as property that belongs to the person and by extension the view that babies (feti) are one's personal property and can be disposed of for any personal reason. Gibran sees it differently.

Jennifer made this same point about pro abortion philosophy in her August 12 posting on NCRegister.com. Gibran, Jennifer and I certainly are on the Catholic side here.

The beauty of Gibran's poetry continues:

"You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as he loves the arrow that flies,
so he loves also the bow that is stable."

My commentary: What a beautiful image of the Catholic teaching about the co-creative nature of sexuality and the importance of stable husband and wife families in raising children.

This poem is not a church document, it is not theological essay and it is not an argument about culture. It is a poetic celebration of the Incarnation, the life giving message of the Son and his promise to be with us via another mother. This poetic promise obviously points to the Church and our belief that the Church is the body of Christ in the world.

As the 'Prophet' departs for heaven we find the moderator alone;

“And when all the people were dispersed
she stood alone upon the sea-wall,
remembering in her heart his saying,
'A little while, a moment of rest upon the wind,
and another woman shall bear me.”

The celebration thus end with the Pentecost promise!

To read Jennifer's whole posting click here. Her essays at NCR as well as her personal blog, “Coversion Diary” are among my daily reads.

Pro Life Roots

This week's America Magazine has several excellent articles on the roots of the Pro Life Movement in the US which existed prior to Roe v Wade, the role of Catholics in the recent election and the multigenerational impact of abortion on a family.

Human rights support, for Catholics, begin in the Church's social doctrine. The right of all humans to life itself is violated daily in our world. Vatican II published a list of actions opposed to life. The list is as follows.


PASTORAL CONSTITUTION ON THE CHURCH IN THE MODERN WORLD (1964)

(from Section 27)"Furthermore, whatever is opposed to life itself, such as any type of murder, genocide, abortion, euthanasia or wilful self-destruction, whatever violates the integrity of the human person, such as mutilation, torments inflicted on body or mind, attempts to coerce the will itself; whatever insults human dignity, such as subhuman living conditions, arbitrary imprisonment, deportation, slavery, prostitution, the selling of women and children; as well as disgraceful working conditions, where men are treated as mere tools for profit, rather than as free and responsible persons; all these things and others of their like are infamies indeed. They poison human society, but they do more harm to those who practice them than those who suffer from the injury. Moreover, they are supreme dishonor to the Creator."

How We (Mis)Treat Our Friends

My own pro life activism dates to the mid 1960s. I remember taking the pro life side in debates held by our local democratic club. I fully expected that opposition to abortion was the next task of the human rights activists, liberals and Democrats. Over the next decade the anti human rights (and anti religious) faction succeeded in moving the Democratic Party to the right. In the process liberals, trade unionists and religious Democrats were progressively alienated. See my earlier post as to the resulting fragmentation of human rights supporters.

Canadian Pro Life supporters face a different situation than we in the US yet they seem to share our tendency to shoot ourselves in the foot by mistreating our friends. For a view of the resulting frustration read a Canadian Pro Lifer Blogger's posting.

After an absence of over thirty years I was pleased to find pro life liberals still active and successful in Minnesota. Yet the recent elections confirmed again the tendency of many pro life activists to alienate their friends. While the Minnesota Right To Life community endorses pro life candidates of any party this is not the case in many states. The National Human Rights Organization That I have been part of for at least thirty years angered me a few elections ago by not endorsing our pro life Congressman, a Democrat, even though he was opposed by a pro abortion Republican.

We now have a President that has taken strong pro life stands against torture, war and genocide. He even said, this week, that the value of all human life demands we work together to reduce abortions. You can bet that a fair number of statements will be made insisting that we can't join in that effort because the President falls short of our ideals. We will again appear to be willing to accept the death of many more babies rather than sully our hands with incremental progress.

Richard John Neuhaus

This morning, January 8, 2009, about the time I was pulling onto the Interstate in Maryland to start the journey back to the lake in the midwest that this blog is purported to originate from, one of the most interesting members of my generation died in New York. Rev. Richard John Neuhaus was just two years my senior and his career was far different than my own his activities often cought my attention.

He was born in Canada, the son of a Lutheran Pastor, he became a Lutheran Minister hinself. He immigrated to the US and was the Pastor of an African American parish in Brooklyn, NY in the 1960s. At the time I was completing my studies in Philosophy. My academic research and my Christian faith made it clear that two civil issues of the day, racism and the war in Viet Nam, were immoral and should be opposed.

While my civil rights activism was relativily local , Pastor Neuhaus could be found marching with Dr King. In 1967 I was comvinced that politics might be the route to stopping the immoral war. I was a McCarthy delegate to County, District and state conventions in 1968. I came within a few votes of going to the Chicago convention loosing to a Humphryite. Neuhaus in the same time frame along with Fr Dan Berrigan and Rabbi Abraham Herschel founded "Clergy Concerned with Viet Nam." He did go to Chicago as a delegate for McCarthy that year.

Over the next two decades his intelectual drive caused him to emerge as one of the most visable Lutheran Theologians of the day. I remember trying to digest his The Catholic Moment in the late 80s. About that time I began studies in preperation for ordination as a Catholic Deacon. He became a Catholic himself in 1990 and was ordained a Catholic Priest in 1991. I was ordained in 1992.

He was always excellent at Ecumenical interaction notably with Rabbi Herschel and Charles Colson. I remember shortly after his Catholic Ordination going to hear him speak about his book mention above at St Mary's Abby in New Jersey. In the Lobby I ran into a Lutheran friend who had come to hear the talk. I expressed surprise that she would come to hear a former Lutheran Theologian. She explained that many Lutherans still admired him and his thinking on the importance of reform.

Like Fr. Neuhaus I have alway been prolife. Prolife means insisting upon the dignity of racial minorities, recognition of the violations of human dignity inherant in war as well as the dignity of human life in the womb, in the nursing home or refugee camp.

I am sure the guests at the wedding feast of the lamb will find him as interesting as he was here among us. May his journey to the throne be swift